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                                                 left.  
                                      you

when we finally felt right,                       turns out, we were wrong.

                                       I
                                                 fell.       
lot of stuff going on here...not sure if it works.
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:iconngav:
ngav Featured By Owner Dec 27, 2014  Student Writer
(I'm stalking kind of far back because I like your stuff & always feel bad about how little I come on here, so I stalk my favorite deviants from time to time & internally compare a new poem with an old one)
artistically, it reminds me of a clock, which is an interesting juxtaposition with the theme of the poem.
I say "turns out" a lot, which I've heard I get from my dad, so in that regard, at least, it reminds me of myself (but perhaps it's not only that)
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
(ah, no worries ^^ I appreciate the reads nonetheless)

that is interesting. someone mentioned it looking like an arrow, time's arrow

cool cool. yeah, thought it worked well for the "turn" of events
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:iconchewyraezen:
chewyraezen Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
brilliance!
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ah, thank you!
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:iconchewyraezen:
chewyraezen Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug: welcome!
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Dec 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:
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:iconscfrankles:
SCFrankles Featured By Owner Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hello ^^ Just letting you know that I've used the title of your work in a piece of found poetry for #TheTitlePage. In my author's notes I have provided a link back to your deviation. (Well, of course you know all about this ^^")

If you want to see the finished poem, it's here: [link] .
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:iconsouzay:
Souzay Featured By Owner Feb 5, 2013  Student General Artist
This reminds me a lot of e. e. cummings. I always admired the fusion of the aesthetics and words.

I can totally read this different ways to obtain different meanings that fit your overall theme. It's like reading both sides of the story at once.

Did you mean to create an image to represent a door? I mean I get the falling down leaving going the other way thing. Just wondering if there's more to the spacing.
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 6, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
that's pretty cool :)

glad to hear that. I wanted it to be a very interactive piece.

I actually hadn't! it does sort of look like a door. an unintended additional layer.

thank you very much ^^
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:iconsouzay:
Souzay Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student General Artist
It certainly is :D

Ahhh or a fork in the road??

you're welcome :)
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yeah that was kind of my intention. two people going off on separate paths :nod:
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:iconsouzay:
Souzay Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student General Artist
Yeah, totally got that right away... It's a great poem c:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
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:iconsouzay:
Souzay Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Student General Artist
:hug:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconbrohugplz:
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Professional Writer
8-) Very nice. I appreciate not only the juxtaposition of right/left with right/wrong, but that "you left" is a left turn, and "I fell" is a drop.
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
yes, that is an aspect of it I liked myself ^^
Thank you!
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:iconblackluna:
BlackLuna Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Sorry, I've to put this as a reply because I don't seem to be able to add a comment in any other way. :(

Here it goes: ~SCFrankles had it right, this is amazing! Not only the aesthetics, but the roads you created. Just like love and life. :)
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Feb 12, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
huh, that's strange. but that's alright!

thank you so much! exactly :)
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:iconblackluna:
BlackLuna Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
you're welcome :D
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:iconhavetales-willtell:
HaveTales-WillTell Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Professional Writer
You're very welcome. :)
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:iconbeyondjen:
BeyondJen Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Interesting concept to work in so many independent and intertwined meanings. I like it. :)

Congrats on the DLD. :clap:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much!
glad you enjoyed it :D
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:iconbeyondjen:
BeyondJen Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're very welcome! :D
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013   General Artist
Congratulations on the well deserved DLD, darling! :iconlaloveplz:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you! :D
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:iconsammur-amat:
Sammur-amat Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013   General Artist
:iconlainloveplz:
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:iconastrangeallure:
astrangeallure Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I have to say that I abhor things that are gimmicky...to me it's just another way of saying, hey, my writing won't stand on its own, so I have to do handstands, look what I can do!! I want to shout, Oh, just tell a good story! Make me feel something! :D

But this isn't that, this is clever, not in the least gimmicky...kind of like a choose your own adventure. :D I enjoyed it and wish that I had thought of it!! Well done. :heart:

Just ignore the top part...just my thought process spilling out. I could erase it, but I don't want to. :D
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
oh, I feel the same way about that. I rarely mess with structure to this extreme unless there is actual meaning behind it, if it lends to the words somehow.

I'm glad you left the top bit and I'm glad you recognized it wasn't trying to be unconventional for unconventionality's sake.

Thank you very much! :D
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:iconlombregrise:
lombregrise Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Professional Writer
You're in the features of the week [link] :clap:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you so much! :D
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:iconyogateacher:
YogaTeacher Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This whole thing is so well done (I love the title)... it says everything it needs to.
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
ah, I'm glad you think so.
thank you very much!
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013   Writer
:iconcongratulationplz: on your DLD!
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks!
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:iconxlntwtch:
xlntwtch Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2013   Writer
:iconyourewelcomesignplz:
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Everything ~SCFrankles said. I love all the different possible meanings and the ways they weave together. :heart:

Congrats on the DLD! :D
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you! glad you enjoyed all the wordplay :D

thanks! I'm surprised.
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:icondisrhythmic:
disrhythmic Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013
:heart:

I'm not. ^^
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:D
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:iconinklingsofoblivion:
InklingsOfOblivion Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Oh gosh this is just amazing. :heart:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you! :D
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:iconinklingsofoblivion:
InklingsOfOblivion Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're most welcome :heart:
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Congrats on the daily lit deviation! I simply adore all the different ways this can be read.
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you! :D
so glad you enjoyed it.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
you're welcome!
so glad you write so beautifully :tighthug:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:hug:

been busy? feel like we haven't talked in a while :/
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
we haven't! :noes:

we could change that now :la:
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:icon0hgravity:
0hgravity Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
haha, okay ^^
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:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Jan 20, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
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